Sheep Thresher

Enjoying Database Administration


Events Access

Things have come to pass. I believe my HIPPA rights have been violated. I also believe I have significant evidence of my having exercised my duty to report incidents constituent of Unlawful Harassment. Specifically derogatory or intimidating references to an employee’s mental or physical impairment. I am a DBA and I enjoy it. I graduated Summa Cum Laude for the love of Justice. For this reason I am shifting the focus from one vendor product I am fond of, to the subject in general which I am fond.

Right, now I am working on an Access Program that should simply the management of household activities with delectable results. For the first schema I am approaching the product from an evolutionary perspective. I have created a normalized flavor database, and am proceeding to strategize the population data into it and adjust settings as needed. I am going to add an inventory management section this evening. I figure this to be a more effecient approach to a usable product for my home than alphabetically by ingredient.

After the database is functioning I am going work on career a management tool. I envision bartering my brother's phenomenal web interface skills for part ownership of the venture. The career management section in particular. (I am reserving ownership in other parts to barter for his skills as the case maybe, I further envision selectable styles to customize (within reason) interfaces for each section. Let's see where this goes.

P.S. I am caring for my Dad, and occasionally my niece. I would like to be taking care of my kids, instead of trusting them to people who vehemently oppose my communicating with them and quite possibly actively slander me. Anyway I am harmless, brilliant, and available for contract work in the areas of enterprise data integration, tutoring, and database administration. Check out my LinkedIN portfolio I have stars for expertise.

Maybe if you ask nicely I'll let you play with my Beta.


Hidden In Plain Sight


Sometimes, what you are looking for is right there staring at you smugly waiting for the opportunity to smirk vainly at the mockery that is your ability to perceive what in retrospect seems obvious. Do not worry, young grasshopper, the opportunity will present itself for you to gaze with benevolent humility at the familiar pain of learning simple lessons you expect to be greater challenges than they are creeping across the face of another. You will learn as I have, and still do.

Be patient, appreciate the sound of \a
Reflect on transference and subjective assessments of the subjective

man, apropos, info, db2 -?

Now You Know How He Knows What He Knew

A long time ago in a POSIX compliant OS far, far away there lived a man and this man was widely regarded for his knowledge. Never, did this man find himself without apropos info . Whether the question was about mounts or how to write a script this man had the answer. That is until one day when this man needed info apropos to the creation of an instance. What should he do?

Having worked previously with command line programs he quickly started jamming keys and pulling his hair. Frustated with the way things worked in his new world he set out to find someone, something, somewhere, where he could go and ask "how do I create an instance, or more specifically how do I ask how do I create an instance?" As he sat there randomly pressing keys trying to remember what he had once read about monkeys and typewriters the following sequence appeared on his screen:

root: /usr/opt/> How can my Muse want subject to invent,
command: How: not found

root: /usr/opt/> While thou dost breathe, that pour'st into my verse
command: thou: not found

root: /usr/opt/> Thine own sweet argument, too excellent
command: Thine: not found

root: /usr/opt/> For every vulgar paper to rehearse?
command: every: not found

root: /usr/opt/> O, give thyself the thanks, if aught in me
command: O: not found

root: /usr/opt/> Worthy perusal stand against thy sight;
command: Worthy: not found

root: /usr/opt/> For who's so dumb that cannot write to thee,
command: who's: not found

root: /usr/opt/> When thou thyself dost give invention light?
command: When: not found

root: /usr/opt/> Be thou the tenth Muse, ten times more in worth
command: Be: not found

root: /usr/opt/> Than those old nine which rhymers invocate;
command: Than: not found

root: /usr/opt/> And he that calls on thee, let him bring forth
command: he: not found

root: /usr/opt/> Eternal numbers to outlive long date.
command: Eternal: not found

root: /usr/opt/> If my slight Muse do please these curious days,
command: my: not found

root: /usr/opt/> The pain be mine, but thine shall be the praise.
command: The: not found

root: /usr/opt/>


Another funny word... Maxi-flop

Where does he come up with this stuff?

From your DB2 Command Line Processor issue the following SQL command:


If you really want to you can issue this command in the command editor. Just remember to peel off the db2 (but you knew that already). You could also go mucking around in system tables, but you might end up clicking somewhere and locking something just before wandering off to find a danish or a bearclaw or something, only to come back to klaxons whirling and everyone in your department looking sternly at you as their applications start failing, which would really put a damper on the day right after you already had to settle for a jelly donut, which in turn chose that moment to settle its filling on your new shirt (a little club soda should get that out).

You'd better think quick and find an excuse for accessing system tables through the command editor and not the CLP. I would recommend blaming the current system for managing logins and permissions. I mean seriously who should have access beyond read only to system tables. That sort of permission should require documents signed in triplicate before being used and should not be used except when there exists a compelling need to use those logins. This is the sort of thing that leads to all sort of failures and exposures. It is integral to the most basic of information security plans. Trust me I am NSTISSI-4011 INFOSEC and CNSS-4012 Senior Systems Manager certified. I'll show you. They came on parchment in a nice padded presentation portfolio same as the Bachelor's degree I have that says database administration and Summa Cum Laude on it.

But I digress. I really wanted to show you something about DB2. The something I wanted to show you was the MAXFILOP setting. The MAXFILOP setting is the maximum number of files open that a database agent can have. If the database agent opens more some get closed. This can cause problems with performance. Of course in DB2 V 9.5 we can omit the word agent from the previous statements because version 9.5 supports multithreading in non-windows environments such as IBM's flagship non-mainframe OS AIX (hip hip hooray). Version 9.5 also has a respectable Max(MAXFILOP) for AIX 61,440 compared to a wimpy 1950 in the de facto "not-V 9.5" linked earlier for MAXFILOP. We can discuss knowledge base articles and marketing engineers some other time when I can provide more solid foundational evidence for the strategic placement of knowledge in white papers (Don't even get me started, but, wow, Juniper's whole "software can be updated, and hardware gets replaced, therefore there is a better business case for hardware routers", is classic {note that this, does in fact, evaluate true so long as "business case" is defined properly}), support pages, and RedBooks (not that one, though it is full of marketing, most is slightly more obvious than the one's I mean).

Anyway,... just make sure you leave enough in your maxi-flop for SMS because it is going to need a little something extra if it is going to do all the tedious bits and boggles for you. Remind me someday to paraphrase the diffferences between SMS and DMS for you, maybe there'll be car chases ( ○╩○ wee-ew wee-ew ○≡○ vroom erreerr wahhhnnnhhh) and ninjas (☻ hee -yawh).

Concurrent or Subsequent

And now for some engineering prose, and a single capricious act of lexicographic prescriptivism:

Gantt chart planning and analysis as applied to information systems requires that concurrent tasks not be considered concurrent should the finite reality of system resources necessitate that concurrency inflate competitive consumption of said resources.

In cases where concurrency is applied without due consideration for system resource limitations the net resource hours consumed in the satisfaction of milestones predictably exceed predicted quantities.

In the spirit of concisely describing the phenomena of concurrent competitive consumption of system resources, I will coin the verb floofnoggle, meaning "to miss a deadline owing to the sharing of a deadline without adequate network and computational resources to share among deadline sharing tasks."

Today I floofnoggled on a SQL deliverable; there was just too much database locking activities for adequate integrated testing.

I may at sometime in the future expand on the notion of floofnoggling by attempting to quantize aspects of it. I know that consumption of resources cannot exceed the limit imposed by the finiteness of system resources (or in DB2 V 9.5 the limit imposed by user specific throttling). I know that the more specifically aligned data items utilized in concurrent scheduled tasks the greater the probability of locks, and subsequently deadlocks. Also worth noting is the MAXFILOP (DB2) setting for the database.

It would be sagacious for a project manager creating a schedulables plan (i.e. a Gantt chart) to incorporate into the estimations of resource hours and planning of the concurrency of tasks a table of system resources necessary for the completion of each task to determine if concurrency is necessarily an appropriate option.


The Ten-Key Dojo

Today I stumbled upon a electronic artifact of ludicrous power.

Today I entered into the world of the ten key unicode ninja.

For weeks and even months I have typed one handed across the lands of QWERTY only to have my two handed typing abilities suffer as my left gained speed and might right gained strength.

Today I learned the ancient secret of Unicode ninjas.

Today I discovered NumLock_On, Alt + (1-254) .

☻ninja ♣ club


Sandwiches, surfaces, and assorted semi-mathematical statements and suppositions

Tasty Torta Topologies by Tom


If a bounded surface of infinite area were to be deformed to a lamina would it still be a bounded surface?


What, if any, is the relationship between the area of a bounded surface and its bending curvature?


If a prevailing pattern of inclusion exists and effects the bending curvature of the surface, does such a prevailing pattern of inclusion deform such as to always realize a change in a particular direction?


How many dimensions must be included in a proof to show that holes are not areas of infinite inclusion? Is a hole in a surface an example of infinities canceling each other?


How does one represent a minimal space with mustard?


If bread could be shown to be a bounded surface of infinite area... err... In the physical world described by mathematics surfaces are non-existent, but none-the-less prevail as perceptual conveniences derived from chiral matrices refracting in approximation of the illusion that is reflectivity.